Fuck NPR, and Fuck the Lawyers of Who, Who, and Who

Who the fuck cares what the lawyer’s of Who, Who, and Who say about the defamation case our friend Mr. Grinch intends to file? Fuck them. We know slander when we hear it, and the accusations against Amigo Grinch are just that, baseless accusations. Foot soldiers in the War on Christmas, UNITE!!!

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Sad Christmas means losing your $40K crocodile coat.

Leaving your $40K crocodile coat in a bar sounds like s omething Mistetoe would do. Of course, you probably deserve to have a sad fucking Christmas if you have a fucking $40,000 dollar coat. We’re not sure how these dudes lost their FORTY FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLAR CROCODILE COAT!

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Megyn Kelly tells Black, Brown, Yellow, Red, and Green Children to Have a Really Fucking Sad Christmas

In addition to misspelling her own name, Fox News’ Megyn Kelly recently ranted about how both Santa Claus and Jesus are (were?) white dudes.

This is a pretty awesome development, as both Mistletoe and Tinsel are big fans of chicks who are both hot and cognitively impaired. Megyn certainly fits those criteria.

Style Story about the fifteenth aniversary of Fox News.

Don’t worry, little non-white children of the world, you don’t really want to be affiliated with one of these child molesters anyway. This Santa is DEFINITELY a white guy:

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Have a Sad Festivus, Bitches

Just because you’re not christian it doesn’t mean you can’t have a Sad Holiday Season. Have a Sad Festivus, bitches. And you might want to observe your sadness at one of these state capitols.

 

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It’s tough out there folks–be careful.

Seriously, after reading this story about a pitiable Chinese man whose girlfriend’s incessant shopping drove him to kill himself in a shopping mallĀ  (we’ve all had the impulse), we at The Saddest Christmas feel compelled to remind you: don’t kill yourself, just dump the woman. Turn that Sad Christmas Happy, motherfuckers!

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Shitty Musical Advent Calendar, Continued

The Professor Brothers describe the Yule Tide happy of Christmas in Prison, in PRISONER CHRISTMAS.