Rudolph Sucks, and the evidence is mounting

Here’s a little takedown of that shitty Rankin/Bass claymation holiday favorite, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

Suck it kid, cause you ain’t getting what you want and you’re gonna be sad. Get used to it.

Over at Deadspin Drew Magary has a great analysis of his kid’s Christmas Wish List. It’s never too early to let The Sad roll!

Krampus, 1,000 Years of Sad Christmas

Tinsel and Mistletoe stand in awe of the Austrians, who have been doing Sad Christmas devilishly right for upwards of 1,000 years. Go, Krampus, go. Check out The Atlantic’s amazing photo essay on Krampus traditions in the link above.

Krampus

 

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

With all of the parties and relatives, it’s only natural to imbibe more than usual. But that’s no reason to get a DUI. You’re more creative than that. Find another way to land yourself in jail. What’s the best part about jail? Limited visiting hours.

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

Christmas can being trying even to the merriest of souls. At least Santa is drinking good gin. Tinsel and Mistletoe will be drinking swill.

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

You know what’s even sadder than Christmas? I’ll tell you what. It’s passive aggressive whores and having to shut down the cathouse during the Christmas season. Dolly Parton tells us all about it in today’s Shitty Advent Calendar offering, “Hardy Candy.”