Posts Tagged ‘Advent Calendar’

Shitty Musical Advent Calendar, Continued

The Professor Brothers describe the Yule Tide happy of Christmas in Prison, in PRISONER CHRISTMAS.

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

With all of the parties and relatives, it’s only natural to imbibe more than usual. But that’s no reason to get a DUI. You’re more creative than that. Find another way to land yourself in jail. What’s the best part about jail? Limited visiting hours.

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

Christmas can being trying even to the merriest of souls. At least Santa is drinking good gin. Tinsel and Mistletoe will be drinking swill.

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

You know what’s even sadder than Christmas? I’ll tell you what. It’s passive aggressive whores and having to shut down the cathouse during the Christmas season. Dolly Parton tells us all about it in today’s Shitty Advent Calendar offering, “Hardy Candy.”

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

In today’s Sad Christmas Shitty Advent Calendar entry (periodically updated, you may have noticed, Sufjan Stevens asks “Did I Make You Cry On Christmas Day? (Well You Deserved It!).” Christmas makes me cry, so I’m not sure if it’s Sufjan’s fault or not, but I’m willing to blame him. When you listen to this song, remember, you deserved it!

 

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

There are plenty of things in this video to make you sad. It will probably make you feel sad for Western Civilization in a general sort of way. I get saddest thinking about Travolta’s smoking hot wife who would so clearly benefit from some unrestrained carnal friction courtesy of Mistletoe Pudding. There really is a lot to talk about in this video, but every time I start another sentence of commentary on this monstrosity, I get the urge to go outside, lie in the street, and wait for someone to curb stomp me.