Posts Tagged ‘Sad Christmas’

It’s tough out there folks–be careful.

Seriously, after reading this story about a pitiable Chinese man whose girlfriend’s incessant shopping drove him to kill himself in a shopping mall  (we’ve all had the impulse), we at The Saddest Christmas feel compelled to remind you: don’t kill yourself, just dump the woman. Turn that Sad Christmas Happy, motherfuckers!

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Rudolph Sucks, and the evidence is mounting

Here’s a little takedown of that shitty Rankin/Bass claymation holiday favorite, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.”

Krampus, 1,000 Years of Sad Christmas

Tinsel and Mistletoe stand in awe of the Austrians, who have been doing Sad Christmas devilishly right for upwards of 1,000 years. Go, Krampus, go. Check out The Atlantic’s amazing photo essay on Krampus traditions in the link above.

Krampus

 

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

You know what’s even sadder than Christmas? I’ll tell you what. It’s passive aggressive whores and having to shut down the cathouse during the Christmas season. Dolly Parton tells us all about it in today’s Shitty Advent Calendar offering, “Hardy Candy.”

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

In today’s Sad Christmas Shitty Advent Calendar entry (periodically updated, you may have noticed, Sufjan Stevens asks “Did I Make You Cry On Christmas Day? (Well You Deserved It!).” Christmas makes me cry, so I’m not sure if it’s Sufjan’s fault or not, but I’m willing to blame him. When you listen to this song, remember, you deserved it!

 

Sad Christmas Songs: A Shitty Advent Calendar

This isn’t exclusively a Christmas song. It’s the penultimate track from Aimee Mann’s beautiful, if not deeply depressing, concept album, The Forgotten Arm. Over the course of the album, Mann sings of the stormy romance that proceeds when a junkie, Vietnam vet boxer runs away with a girl he meets at a state fair. In the context of the album, it’s a song about a hopeless person clinging to hope, but we all know it’s a lost cause. Maybe this can serve as a metaphor for the optimism you may feel going into the Christmas Season. That’s right, this year you’ll finally make Christmas a season of joy and love. Just keep telling yourself that.