The Mission

Those who profit from the holiday season have a vested interest in maintaining its reputation as a time of joy and love. However, many of us have experienced just the opposite during this time of so many (often empty) promises. We at The Saddest Christmas are firm believers in managing expectations. By planning a Christmas season full of morose, depressing events, we cannot be disappointed when our grand hopes for the season of Noel are dashed upon the rocks of human failure. What’s left to dash? Being saturated by the unhappiness of others has the added benefit of making the overwhelming holiday obligations to friends and family more tolerable, perhaps even welcome.

Our goal here at The Saddest Christmas is not to parlay the inevitable depression of the holidays into ironic kitsch. Not at all. There is no irony here, folks. The hipster ethos of self-conscious detachment is not welcome here. Fuck those guys. Rather than deflecting the sadness that we feel, and that we suspect you too feel during this season, we try to dive to the bottom of the trough. We want to roll around in the sad, rub it all over or faces, sleep in it a night or two, and return to the world with low, achievable expectations for the holidays.

Just as the corporate/religious forces behind the Christmas industrial complex build up unrealistic Yuletide expectations that explode in a wad of plastic shame on December 25th each year, we too build toward an annual cathartic event. We would like to encourage our readers to join in our tradition, which is this: every year, several days before Christmas, Mistletoe Pudding and Tinsel Wonderland travel to a carefully selected city that is generally considered to be a pretty shitty place. We have the saddest couple of days we can manage, eating bad, dissatisfying food, forcing ourselves into unfulfilling encounters with people even sadder than ourselves, and trying to strip off any last bits of human dignity that our egos might be clinging to as the holiday season comes to its predictably disappointing climax.

Join us. Have a Sad Christmas before the real Christmas. You’ll feel better, after you feel worse.

We hope that by sharing our insights, you, too, will be able to make your Christmas more balanced, manageable, and a lot sadder. But the good kind of sad. Or not. We’re not gonna tell you how to live your Sad Christmas.